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Browse Old Austin Grouch posts about east austin, Austin nostalgia, and the city habits locals still argue about.
Use this topic hub to explore satire, memories, and cultural commentary about east austin in Austin, Texas.
Miss Rosa's blue cooler at Cesar Chavez and Chicon moved a dozen pork tamales for three singles, no receipt, no questions; the block's new 'heritage masa collective' just rang me up $19 for half that many, complete with a compostable tray, a QR feedback link, and a wall mural of the exact cooler they helped price out of existence.
6 min read
The guy in $400 boots at The Rivet on East 6th and Comal announced it had 'that old Austin feel' right after dropping $41 on two cocktails; the place kept the auto-shop sign from 1973 and the pitted concrete floor but added a $12 cover, QR menus, and upstairs lofts starting at $925k that market the 'grit' they just priced out of existence.
6 min read
The yellow bungalow at 912 Holly kept its screen door squeak, its porch swing chains, and its every-Sunday domino table for decades; last month the lot got scraped to bare dirt for four "heritage-modern" townhomes starting at $1.15M with rooftop decks, app-controlled lighting, and a marketing video that somehow forgot to mention the man who actually lived there.
6 min read
The old Mueller Airport let you park on the grass for three bucks, watch single-engine planes take off over the fence, and buy a sausage biscuit from a lady who called you darlin'; that same patch of ground is now rows of slate-gray townhomes starting at $789,000 with faux control-tower lighting and a "Runway Park" where the only thing landing is another Peloton delivery.
6 min read
The cashier at Tamale House on Airport Boulevard used to greet half the room by name, slide your change across the counter with a wink, and already know you wanted extra green sauce; yesterday the new system asked for my phone number, suggested a 22% tip on a $17.25 plate, and the only person who made eye contact was the guy refilling the horchata dispenser.
6 min read
Stood behind a Patagonia-vested import at Franklin Barbecue who pitched "dynamic queuing via smart contracts" while the post oak smoke curled around us; the same line where East Side grandmas, drywall guys, and hungover musicians once stood together for four hours without once mentioning their cap table.
6 min read
The lead guitarist had just bent a note clean through the oak trees when a guy in a branded quarter-zip jumped onstage to announce the 'synergy break' sponsored by a payment app; what used to be twenty minutes of smoke, beer, and actual conversation is now a branded activation zone where attendees scan for AR filters instead of buying the band a round.
6 min read
Bumped into a Series A chaser at the new "elevated street food" stall who was busy explaining how his app could "streamline" the cash-only tamale ecosystem; the woman whose recipes he's trying to tokenize has been selling them from a folding table since before he was born and still refuses Venmo.
6 min read
Walked the stretch between Chicon and Comal where the last operating tortilleria still fires up the comal at 5 a.m.; the developer who bought the building next door has already slapped up renderings for 'Cielo Lofts' starting at $2,675 while the tortilleria's new triple-net lease arrives next week with language about 'curated experiential retail.'
6 min read
The realtor called the 1935 yellow bungalow at 902 Monroe a "teardown opportunity" while the hummingbird feeder still spun above her head; three blocks away another 1940s house just became "The Monroe Collective" with units starting at $2,950 and a rooftop fire pit no one will use.
6 min read
The glass towers crossed I-35 and nobody even pretended to be surprised.
4 min read
Riverside Drive used to be where you lived when you couldn't afford anywhere else. Now you can't afford Riverside Drive either.
5 min read