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Browse Old Austin Grouch posts about corporate weird, Austin nostalgia, and the city habits locals still argue about.
Use this topic hub to explore satire, memories, and cultural commentary about corporate weird in Austin, Texas.
The yard at 907 Waller that once hosted free kegs, a half-broken PA, and whatever Dragstrip Riot felt like playing at midnight now gets three a.m. emails offering $1,200 for "authentic backyard IP" complete with branded cooler stickers, a QR code for sponsored playlists, and a contract clause about not letting the wrong kind of locals wander through.
6 min read
The new "Chief Nostalgia Officer" at the Broken Spoke introduced himself by handing me a branded koozie and asking if I'd like the $22 heritage two-step lesson; the South Lamar institution that ran on $3.50 Shiners, $7 chicken-fried steaks the size of hubcaps, and zero irony from 1964 until the latest buyout now charges $39 entry on Thursdays and pipes in a Spotify playlist labeled "Authentic Texas Swing (Curated)."
6 min read
Stood behind a woman in $180 sneakers praising the "authentic neighborhood vibe" of the remodeled H-E-B at South Lamar and Barton Springs while the $4.29 single tamale and mandatory app coupon danced in my head; what used to be a $28 grocery run with actual butchers who knew your order is now a temple of exposed ductwork where the beer cooler requires facial recognition and the parking lot no longer tolerates the guy selling bootleg CDs out of his trunk.
6 min read